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May 5, 2013
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EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!

GWEN…

VS…

… DARIA MORGENDORFFER!!!!


BEGIN!

Gwen:
Dear diary, I'd like to write about today,
And how I sent this whiny hipster bitch packing straight away!
I'll make this battle quick, seal your face with a kick,
Like the psycho killer. Come at me, Misery Chick!
You're a smug, obnoxious Mary–Sue,
And I'd rather share my quarters with Courtney than you!
Moping and doping, that's how all your time is spent.
And unlike you, I at least kissed my Trent!
You come from MTV? Your reputation must be poor,
When you share your station with Jersey–Fucking–Shore!
So run home, Diarrhea, go make out with Jane,
Before I take this shovel to your spine and break you like Bane!

Daria:
I've got to be direct, Gwen: you're about to get smoked.
Your whole life, your whole world is just a sick, sad joke.
You think I still care the slightest bit about Trent?
Get with the times, and while you're at it, get bent.
I'm a philosopher, you're a pathetic trash–talker.
Need to know why I'm brilliant? Just ask Doug Walker.
Your time's spent suffering, fighting, all over a bad check,
And now, I'm looking forward to standing on YOUR neck.
I'll crush you like Tommy Sherman, bury you alive,
Pour drain cleaner down your throat and pass it off as suicide.
I'll maul you like a koala, and make your eyes swell.
In short: I'm Daria. Go to Hell.

Gwen:
What, that's all you got? Bitch please, your flow SUCKS!
Oh, and by the way, your breath reeks of Upchuck.
And why's your face always so plain? Here, I'll give it a makeover…
When I tear it to shreds like a rabid, screaming gopher!
You make Noah look active, you antisocial loafer,
And any relevance you ever had is long–since over!
What that Tom guy ever saw in you is a mystery to me,
But soon, like Mr. DeMartino's class, YOu'Ll bE hIsTOrY!
I'm a nice person; you're cold, bitter and heinous.
You have no goals in your life, while I wanna be famous!
And on your life: think it sucks? Well, look what I have to go through!
"First World Problems" much, Daria? Girl, what the Hell is wrong with you?!

Daria:
That's it, Shakespeare, leave the rhyming to me.
Your lines have so much shallowness, I mistook it for complexity.
And it's funny. After what you've been through, you should be dead.
I've seen safer behavior from Beavis and Butthead.
And you've nothing to show for it; no money, no fame,
So next season, just go straight to the Whatever–of–Shame.
You'll never be free from the sadistic games of Chris,
And you practically ruined your social life with one kiss.
While my love triangle was subtle and realistic,
You downright cheated, and let your "best friend" go ballistic.
You're just a slutty caricature; I invented cartoon drama.
So consider this loss your latest serving of karma.

*Gwen is shown dancing while Daria just walks away.*

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
I DECIDE!!!


EPIC… La–la–la, la–la… RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!
VIDEO VERSION HERE: [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconfeanor-99:
Feanor-99 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2013
Girls knock out each other!
Reply
:iconbananam00n:
Bananam00n Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2013
Hah, I'd say Daria won, but I might be biased ;p that, and I never watched total drama...

It must have taken you ages to put together! what with writting the text, recording it and choosing clips, I'm impressed^^
Reply
:iconmoleman9000:
Moleman9000 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Daria indeed did win. In fact, as of shortly before this very conversation and due to recent developments in Total Drama, I now pretty much HATE Gwen whereas, at the time of making the video, I saw her as pathetic in a cute way.
Reply
Hidden by Owner
:iconcogreen20:
CoGreen20 Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Student Writer
I'm a huge fan of Total Drama. I freaking love it. I don't even know who Daria is.
.
.
.
Yet I still think Daria won. :|
Reply
:iconthe-psychid:
The-Psychid Featured By Owner May 10, 2013   Writer
I honestly have no idea who to say won this battle. =P

:iconfreeinternetplz:
Reply
:iconmoleman9000:
Moleman9000 Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you.
Reply
:iconsacreddawn:
SacredDawn Featured By Owner May 9, 2013  Student Writer
Nice, I'm with Daria on this one ;) Keep me posted on that video of yours, I would love to see it.
Reply
:iconmoleman9000:
Moleman9000 Featured By Owner May 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Reply
:icongwenandduncanfangirl:
gwenandduncanfangirl Featured By Owner May 6, 2013
GWEN!!!!!!!!!
Reply
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