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Moleman9000's ERBs #4: Penelope vs. GadgetMoleman9000's ERBs #4: Penelope vs. Gadget by *Moleman9000
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!!
THE BLACK BARON…
…VS…
…GADGET HACKWRENCH!
BEGIN!
Gadget:
Okay, seriously? Again? I mean, really?
We've been through this before. We all know it's you, Penelope.
What's with you and disguises? Are you some sort of schizo?
In any case, crazy or not, you're a dirtier rat than Rizzo.
I'll get the obvious out of the way; better to say it now than later:
Just like Peter "Scabbers" Pettigrew, you're a no–good little traitor!
You sold out your only friends in the world… to a skunk.
Are you dense? Are you brainwashed or something? Are you drunk?
No, I'm convinced you're ju
Moleman9000's ERBs #3: Sally Acorn vs. Mega ManMoleman9000's ERBs #3: Sally Acorn vs. Mega Man by *Moleman9000
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!!
…SALLY ACORN…
…VS…
…MEGA MAN!!!
BEGIN!
Mega Man:
Turn up the Beat and crank up the Bass,
So I can Mega–bust a Cap–com in this royal brat's face!
I'll call up Rush, Auto, Eddie and Roll
For an assault that'll decimate your Knothole!
I have so many games, it's hard to keep tally,
While your show, Sally, never even got a real finale!
What am I even fighting you for? Where the Hell is Sonic?
He should be my opponent; you're not iconic!
The reasons I'm superior are too many to list;
In the original games, you don't f**king exist!
You're the Mary Sue creation of a
Moleman9000's ERBs #2: Mr. Ed vs. Twilight SparkleMoleman9000's ERBs #2: Mr. Ed vs. Twilight Sparkle by *Moleman9000
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!!
MISTER ED…
VS…
…TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!!!!
BEGIN!
Mister Ed:
A horse is a horse, of course, of course, except for you, you little freak!
Your fans are a bunch of obsessed and whiny pervert manchild geeks!
What? You say they're cool? Don't make me laugh, for God's sakes.
How could you say that when they write sick s**t like Cupcakes?
And even though you've got that fancy horn and live with a little dragon,
You're weak! You couldn't even pull your own show's bandwagon!
You're purple like Barney,
And you look like a carny,
I'll terminate you like Arnie,
'Til you're deader than Jim Varney!
My
Moleman9000's ERBs #1: Gwen vs. DariaMoleman9000's ERBs #1: Gwen vs. Daria by *Moleman9000
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!
GWEN…
VS…
… DARIA MORGENDORFFER!!!!
BEGIN!
Gwen:
Dear diary, I'd like to write about today,
And how I sent this whiny hipster bitch packing straight away!
I'll make this battle quick, seal your face with a kick,
Like the psycho killer. Come at me, Misery Chick!
You're a smug, obnoxious Mary–Sue,
And I'd rather share my quarters with Courtney than you!
Moping and doping, that's how all your time is spent.
And unlike you, I at least kissed my Trent!
You come from MTV? Your reputation must be poor,
When you share your station with Jersey–Fucking–Shore!
So run home, Diar
The Jamblibam Incident: Part 12The Jamblibam Incident: Part 12 by *Moleman9000
The Jamblibam Incident: Part 12
The heroically smug smile on Reedtos' face vanished all at once midway through this statement, between it being said that Sparkspike had been "crushed" and it being said in no uncertain terms that he was dead, and was replaced by a rather blank, disbelieving look, though again, his expressions could barely be seen through the veil that was his visor.
"What?! That's not possible! You're lying!"
…This highly cliched reaction in no way resembled that of Reedtos. He was not the kind who would outright deny one's death for longer than a few shocked seconds in any but the most sudden and implausible–se
The Jamblibam Incident: Part 11The Jamblibam Incident: Part 11 by *Moleman9000
The Jamblibam Incident: Part 11
Meanwhile, and almost the village's length away, Sparkspike was charging toward, and closing in on, Fhont'Natsa, who, again, appeared to be unguarded and unaware of what was approaching him from behind. The former appearance was true; the latter was not. As the Mecknight drew closer to the deity and was moments from coming into striking range, Fhont'Natsa, hyper–aware in his present desperation and borderline denial of the fact that the battle, his "campaign" and, if Junt'Vubis was to have anything to say about it, his existence were a lost cause at this point, heard Sparkspike approaching. In response,
The Jamblibam Incident: Part 10The Jamblibam Incident: Part 10 by *Moleman9000
The Jamblibam Incident: Part 10
Fhont'Natsa's semi–floating "base" and much of his overall lower body were starting to show some damage, though not quite as much as his head still was, as the Primal Deity broke away from the battle and its battlefield upon catching sight of the Huplegrar squadron, including Prorrick, whose large headdress made him visible even among a crowd of his kind, near the North gate of Churrow Village and quite clearly in the process of trying to leave. The instant he saw them, Fhont'Natsa "sprinted" directly over to them with a burst of energy, appearing to almost "jump" as he closed the distance between himsel
The Jamblibam Incident: Part 9The Jamblibam Incident: Part 9 by *Moleman9000
The Jamblibam Incident: Part 9
Twelve days later:
This was to be "it". This was to be the "glorious" day when the so–called Jamblibam Chapter of the Monsgnarl Empire would at last begin its expansion. It had been several days now since the completion of Fhont'Natsa's "temple", the construction of which had been the first major order of business dictated by him as ruler of the Churrows. Since then, the Primal Deity, under increasing pressure from his paradoxically simultaneous superior and underling, Prorrick, had been pressing all those under his control, Rorke–Norg and Vilvamion alike and even including himself, to further thei
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